Whether you are in Virginia, Kansas, or Iowa, one thing is sure to annoy: pop-ups, and not just ordinary pop-ups, but (and let's say this together) damned f*cking popups which frustrate the people of Alabama and Alaska and Nevada and New Hampshire in some kind of hate-free equal-opportunity highway billboard over-commercialized attempt to invade the private lives and workplaces of America's People!

It's time for some Texas-style shoot-em-up War on Terror destruction of pop-ups, because, let's face it: those pop-ups cost American lives too.  They most certainly could anyway.

Imagine young Bobby, a nice kid, in his brand new Jet Fighter Craft, hunting for Osama Bin Laden in Afghanistan, and - he finds him!  Right there, OBL is sitting like a Zen monk, ready to get pummeled by a torrent of bullets and heat-seeking missiles!  When, all of a sudden, the Jet Fighter craft computer is infected with a pop-up, which obscure's the pilot's view of the scene in front of him, and he crashes into a mountain.

Don't think it couldn't happen!  Pop-ups are a menace, and not only that, but they are designed to spy on the American People.

For this reason, the American Army should be trained to search out and destroy all pop-ups, to root out this invisible enemy which is terrorizing and spying on the American People.

But until that happens, there's always Transparen's help desk, guarding the home front, keeping things together so that the American People can better support the war effort, and so nice Bobby will not have to die.

Unlimited support plans are available for a nominal monthly per computer fee, a portion of which supports climate improvement.  Our service is environmentally friendly (we pollute less than the on-site computer support people) and improves the security of computers on the home front.